Mish Mash

January 18, 2015

Over the years, our love has taken on many forms.

In our first year together, it was hot and fiery, an entity I envisioned as a ball of burning stars that left trails of amber where it floated by. Every touch of his hand and every brush of his lips left a searing tingle on my skin. It was impatient, brash, and exasperated to say the least – when both of us perhaps did not really understand what love was, only that we couldn’t wait to see each other at the end of every day.

In our third year together, a blanket of comfort slipped over our heads and we began to feel more at ease about being apart. The space strengthened both of us as individuals and a couple, when seeing him still made my heart go all aflutter yet a contentment and feeling of trust nestled in the corners of my heart when we are not in each other’s company. Is this what they call growing into each other’s spaces – when you slowly fill in all the creaks and crevices of one another that used to be empty so after enough time, you become independently and inexplicably whole?

In our fifth year together, I like to think we’ve grown in so many ways and it’s a wonderful thing how our love has grown with us. I know his habits better than anyone else in the world and he knows my temper well enough to manoeuvre around it unscathed. We know when to give each other space and when to snuggle up to the other for comfort when days are particularly tough. It has taken a while to learn the signs, but right about now it feels like we’ve got it down pretty well.

As we embark on our 6th year together, I am beginning to grasp this whole thing. It isn’t easy to, out of literally nowhere, you have to make space for another person in your heart. But if you just take that chance, you’ll learn that it becomes more than every good thing you ever imagined put together.

Love isn’t so much two halves finding each other and becoming a whole. We are already whole in the first place.

But in our own heads, we see only our own favourite colours, taste only our own favourite foods and hear only our own favourite songs. Along comes this other person who introduces new colours, flavours, and songs to your palate that you never knew was missing in any aspects before, enriching you in their wake.

And that is why you may have felt incomplete in the first place (even though you weren’t).

It starts subtly – when the music, painting and cuisine from this other person worm their way into your space – and suddenly you cannot imagine life without them.

And slowly, you find yourself with double the colours, sights and sounds than you ever knew existed. To top it all off, they continue to only multiply every single day that you are with them.

And it certainly is a hundred folds more beautiful than what you started out with.


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